mix

Mr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very
polite. One day while taking dictation she noticed his fly was open.

On leaving the room, she said "Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open."

He didn't understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and
saw that his zipper was open.

He decided to have some fun with his secretary. Calling her in, he asked,
"By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning,
did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?"

The secretary who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a
little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

--------------- / -----------------
POLITICS

* *

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics, Dad?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I am the head of the
family, so call me the President. Your mother is the administrator of the
money, so we will call her the Government. We are here to take care of your
needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will call her the
Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now think
about that and see if it makes sense."

So, the little boy goes of to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later
that night he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes
to his parents room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake
her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the
keyhole and finds his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes
back to bed.

The next morning the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."

The little boy replies "The President is screwing the Working Class while
the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future
is in Deep Shit."

orrrrrrrrrrr

An Indian lady (NRI) returned from the US to India and is window shopping in
Delhi. Suddenly she realizes she is late for an appointment. She is not
wearing a watch so she sees a small shop on the roadside and asks in a very
American accent of the sardar owner "What's the time?"

The sardar is a very patriotic man and hates desis / Indians with a foreign
accent. He replies back in the same accent, "Bra-panties."

Confused the lady asks again, "No! No! What's the time?"

The sardar again answers back, in the same accent, "Bra-panties."

Seeing the confusion between the two, another sardar comes to the rescue of
the lady and says, "O papaji, tusi samajh nahin paaye"" Kudi twade kol puuch
rahii haigayee!!"

The angry sardar shouts back at him, "Tow main bhi to oonoo time hee bata
rahan hai– barah panthis (12.35) !!!"

Ek sher ki shaadi thi to uske barat mein ek chuha bahut jamke nach raha tha.
Public ka to funda hill gaya "Yeh chuhe ko sher ki shaadi mein kitna kya
maja aa raha hai."

To ek bander ne chuhe se pucha "Abey, itna kyon naach raha hai?"

Chuha bola "Aaj mere bhai ki shaadi hai, nachoo kyon nahin."

Bander : "Sher aur tear bhai .. chal hat"

Chuha: Haan .. main bhi shaadi se pehle sher tha …"